A few years ago, I was in a serious relationship for 2 years. Prior to getting into a relationship, we were good a friends.
I thought being in a relationship would just be the icing on the cake. Ha! Dead wrong. Within those 2 years, I realized, the friend version and the boyfriend version were two completely different people.
As soon as the 2 year mark hit, my friends started asking me all types of questions, I wasn’t ready to answer. Did I think he was going to propose? Was I excited? Did I want to get married? When did I think he was going to propose? Were we going to move in together?
I started to think about what my friends were saying, and guess what? I started to get anxiety. I knew it was time to ask myself a bunch of hard questions I was pretty much in denial about.
5 questions I asked myself When I was considering leaving my relationship
If I had a son that was exactly like him, would I be happy with that?
This was an important question for me to ask because it made me really look to see if I really liked my boyfriend’s character and him as a person.
If I died, do I feel confident knowing that our children would be loved and celebrated?
When we dated, those 2 years, He had issues with telling me he loved me.He never did anything on his own merit to celebrate something like my birthday. If he couldn’t do these small things for me, how could he do any of those things for our kids?
Do I feel like my life is better with him in it?
If I died, would he make it a point to have a relationship with my side of the family?
My mom died when I was young, so staying in contact with my mother’s side of the family was a priority for my dad.
If I could marry him today, as is, would I marry him at a church, just me and him, flaws and all?
This one sent me over the edge.
The answer to every single question was no. Thinking about just these 3 questions, I knew I could never marry him. Can you imagine what other questions didn’t even get answered? I knew what I had to do in the end.
It took me a month to really accept this guy was not the one and to get the nerve to actually break up, but it was worth it. No sense in wasting his time or mine anymore.
Have you ever had to to do this before? What questions did you ask yourself when you were considering a break up?